In my last post, I had mentioned I was doing a bit of spring cleaning both in my home life and in my personal life. I’ve been through a lot of struggles this past year, with the loss of my job, several friends, the one I had spent my life waiting for, and well, my sanity. I decided I need to re-evaluate priorities in my life in order to move forward.
So list time!!
1. Continue with VA Trauma Therapy. I’ve been in therapy for PTSD for the last 10 months. I still have a ways to go, but I need to continue with it. And really- I need to focus more on the homework assignments and do them as best as I can. I feel lately I’ve been coasting and half-assign the assignments and in the end, it’s only hurting me.
2. Let people in. This one has been really, really hard. I tend to keep people at a distance. I use humor as a defense mechanism and often put all my flaws up front to keep people from wanting to get to know me. I lost my two best friends early on, and have been so used to those close to me passing away, that I generally look at everyone with an expiration date now. I’ve really been struggling to allow people to get close to me this past year, and I need to start allowing people in. I’ve begun dating again, and learning to trust and being open has been really difficult.
3. Really concentrate on getting finances in order. Since losing my job last year, and starting school, I’ve been eating my savings away. I’ve still managed to live on a pretty tiny budget, but there are things I can live without- for instance- my car! I’m in the process of selling it. I’m in a place right now where I won’t need a car for a while, but the loss of freedom is still really huge for me.
4. Find hobbies. I haven’t had much interest in anything I used to love in a long time. I think it’s time I really start finding joy in old, and new, hobbies. Ballet, anyone?
5. Learn to live with less. I mentioned this before but I really do need to learn to live with less. That means my vintage collection will soon have to be gone through. I have just too much and I don’t wear it. While I love having such a huge and diverse collection, I think it may be better for me to focus on certain eras or particular details. I’d really like to not have material things possess me!
6. Experience life. By traveling, eating well, and actually making meaningful connections with people. I feel like I haven’t really been living. First up, I want to go to Prague!
7. Actually get through all the mending and ironing I have:)
Really, I just want to start experiencing life again and becoming a productive member of society. I’m still struggling to find my new place in this world, but starting a new career soon in a completely diverse field I think will help me a great deal. I haven’t been living, just merely existing, and it’s time that comes to an end. I know it’s easier said than done, and a lot of these changes aren’t going to be happening overnight, but I’m glad I have some goals and will try to celebrate each little step towards progress.